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We've been close companions for more than 20 years, who has faced and conquered several hardships, which I admire. However, she's repeatedly taken by surprise by others. Her spouse left her, and it was a huge shock. Several of her social circle disappeared at that point, since they had been focused solely on the spouse. This surprised her deeply. She made greater energy to be my friend, likely grasped more clearly the meaning of companionship.

A Recurring Theme In Relationships

Throughout this period, many close to her have drifted apart without her being knowing the cause. Her last employer suddenly changed toward her, even though she had been an excellent employee, her exit happened unaware of what had changed.

Present Situation

In recent times, both of us left the workforce so we're spending each other more, however, I feel the part I play in our friendship is as the audience. I start topics of conversation only for her to redirect the talk toward things she cares about. Regarding political views, she has unyielding views. I try to recommend factchecking and different perspectives.

She has been arranging a holiday to a nation I've visited repeatedly and resided in for a while. I attempted to offer advice, however, my input unappreciated. She really only wanted me to confirm her plans. I recently returned from a month in that country and she wants to reconnect, however, I hesitate.

Evaluating the Situation

I am unwilling in this role who cuts and runs without a word, yet I doubt she'll truly understand the consequences of how she acts on my self-esteem. Currently, I am in avoidance mode. What's the best step?

Potential Solutions

You could cut and run, but it is rarely the easy answer we hope for. Yet having a direct talk with a view to a solution demands strength and openness on both your parts.

Professional advice indicates trying a practical approach to handling disagreements:

"Initially involves describing how things go in your conversations. Aim for this to be as factual as possible like exactly what occurs. Step two involves sharing how this leaves you feeling. Ideally, there's no dispute on this point. Emotions belong to you, after all. Step three involves requesting ways you together going to change the pattern between you."

Keep in mind that she also has a point of view, meaning you must to be prepared to listen to her. One effective method is to say to the other person:

"Please share your thoughts and I'm going to remain silent for a set time."

It's remarkably effective for promoting understanding.

Key Takeaways

This person might reject all you say, for those who hold onto a deep-seated story: they have a story regarding their experiences they cannot release because their very survival is tied to it and it's all they've known. It's tough as there is no easy route here, mere obstacles. Yet she could initially present like this before reflecting your perspective. And should you never reach a fix, you'll have peace knowing you were truthful.